3 years on

Almost 3 years ago I made a decision that would ultimately change my life forever, in so many ways. Some amazing beyond words and others painful beyond my reckoning, but each and every one of them brought me to the point I am today.  Many amazing people were brought into my life either directly or indirectly from this initial decision, some are still with me and others have no further part to play in my future. I’ve come to realise that the old saying about people coming into your life for a reason, season or lifetime is very true. Whilst at times I struggle to see the reason for some of these encounters each one has given me lessons which will be realised in time.

I had gotten to the point where I was sick of who I had become and was tired of being limited by my weight. Interestingly I hadn’t realised how much it was limiting me until much further into my adventure.

I decided to join the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation Program.  I didn’t hold out much hope for it actually working for me but I was at the point where enough was enough. I jumped in and totally immersed myself in the program, I embraced the concepts and principles and the community.  I met some incredible people who had already changed their life in amazing ways and they helped me walk the path they already cleared.

Surely enough the weight began to disappear, much to my astonishment. I was working hard however and eating exactly to the plans the program outlined. I began to spread my wings and try new things, activities I had always wanted to, running, kayaking, trapeze, rock climbing and so much more. 

I began to see my own worth and wanted more for my life.  I took a step and entered the world of CrossFit, which as documented here has changed my life again, and in many ways saved it when I needed it most.  CrossFit also brought the most incredible people into my life, many of whom still encourage, support & guide me today.  CrossFit has taught me much about myself, about my capacity to push through barriers and challenges.  I’ve felt acceptance within the community that I never have before.   I’ve competed as an athlete against the best in the world, I’ve competed in strongwoman events and challenged myself in new ways and prevailed when I thought failure was imminent. I’ve become part of some incredible communities at the boxes I have worked at. They hae become my family and a place I can just go and be me.  I give support & encouragement to my community freely and just love being a part of it.

Over the last 3 years I have lost 42kg and during that time gone up and down a little. But that’s ok. These days I am pretty stable and whilst I still have some to lose I am happy with my progress.  Controlling and maintaining my weight will always be a lifelong challenge for me. I won’t ever be one of these people who can sit and eat whatever they like.  If I step off my plan for more than a short time my body quickly will show the results.  Battling old habits and behaviours requires constant vigilance. I used to struggle with that and hate the thought this would be a lifetime struggle. But now I have accepted it and just like people with medical conditions who need regular medication monitoring my weight and the factors that influence it are just how I live my life. I know my parameters and I know the consequences.

I have found balance in my life. It’s about moderation for me and not perfection.  I don’t need to live up to anyone else’s expectations, I simply need to live by my values and be the best I can be for me.

It’s been well documented here on this blog about the hole I was in at the start of last year, and in fact for the majority of the year. Tha experience taught me a lot about human nature and highlighted to me why you should never put the needs of another ahead of your own. It absolutely changed the way I interact and accept people into my life.

The start of 2013 saw me once again be at a point where I was tired of the situation I was in and change was thrust upon me. I took a leapt and started my own Personal Training business.  Totally terrifying to be solely responsible for my success. I committed to it with everything I had within me and it’s been successful. I have never felt so fulfilled and complete as when I am working with my clients, either directly or working on their programs to help them achieve their goals.

Three years ago the fat girl sitting on this very same couch could not have forseen how life would be at this point. For every low there has been a high beyond my wildest expectations.  There are many days I still feel like that fat kid I was all my life.  Every time I step up to compete in an event or step into that box. But these days I push her aside and know that I am doing what I was born to do, I am leading a fulfilled life, surrounded by good people who I choose to have around me. Who accept me and support me. They cheer my success and pick me up when I fall. A handful of them carried me through last year without question. Held me afloat when I couldn’t hold myself and celebrated wildly when I overcame another barrier.

The last 3 years have brought me change, lessons, heartbreak, joy, success and learning. I haven’t failed because I’m still in there fighting every single day.  I’m not that same person. But she is still in there and that’s what pushes me continually forwards to be more.

So to those who continue to believe in me and support me and have done so since day 1 I thank you. These 3 years would not have turned out the way it had without you all.

I can’t wait to see what the next 3 years and beyond holds.